4) It doesn't get very cold.
Today at school there was quite a scene. It started when I walked out of the gym and there was a huddle of girls- popular girls, mind you, sobbing into one another's shoulders. I wasn't sure what to do or what to say. A and I badgered K until she promised to tell us if she found out in PE, which she has with several of said girls. As I walked to math I realized what had happened. A girl at school, who shall remain unnamed, had suffered the loss of her father to leukemia. She was receiving many hugs and I put together the pieces. I still wasn't sure. Since I had to wait until next period to see K I turned to the girl who was crying the least- C. However, as I looked closer, C's lips were clamped shut and she was forcing herself not to cry. I had never seen anyone try so hard not to cry. It was sad and amazing at the same time. You could tell something had happened because my whole math class was silent except for some snuffling.
Mrs. M was slightly embarrassed to continue having a lesson with so many girls crying, so she stuttered about how we had to go in with the lesson anyway and that if someone needed to leave the room they should feel free to do so. Meanwhile, I fought back tears. Not necessarily for the girl and her father but because of my thoughts. It seemed nearly selfish to be worried about moving when there were things like this man's death happening. I realized that I could at least come back to visit. Her father couldn't just take a plane back from wherever Death took him and say hello to his family. I couldn't feel as bad about The Lovely News when there were trips taken that a person couldn't come back from. I don't think that I can accept fully the way that things are happening, but I can't mope around when I should be grateful that my family is just in a different place and not dead, never to return. And so with the farewell of this post I sit in a moment of silence in the reverie of my new found philosophy and in sorrow for the girl whose father will never come home.
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O my gosh I'm crying while writing this...if that would ever happen to me I don't know what I'd do. We must stay strong for S.E. now in her time of need. Her future is still to be determined and I can only hope for the best for her and her sisters. Nobody deserves this :'(
ReplyDeleteLuv,
A friend
(who's name begins with S if that helps)
Wow - this sounds like a really rough day. :-( Emotional stuff. I think you're wise beyond your years, K. It's stunning to have a moment of perspective like this, isn't it? To realize that, in comparison to some people's burdens, yours really aren't all that heavy after all? You are able to not only recognize this, but you're also able to write about it in a very thoughtful and eloquent fashion. ((hug))
ReplyDeleteS- I'm assuming that you are S.W. Yes we have to be supportive of her and I was almost in tears too.
ReplyDeleteFarmgirl_dk- Thank you for the compliments! The little man G says: Hi Miss Danni!
I feel so depressed reading this post. I found out this news over the weekend because my mom is Biblical about reading obituaries. (she's a cancer nurse and likes to know about patients) Well, my mom was treating this patient, and she was very upset and angry that this man had died. I have to deal with this from my mom a lot, but this one hit close to home because I actually know these people. I suppose you never really think someone is going to leave until they actually do. You start to realize the term "Live each day like its your last." I just wish the best of luck to the family who has suffered this loss, and good luck to anybody going through this same situation.
ReplyDelete~Cripple/M~
Wow!! This was a powerful blog..You have so much insight into other people's feelings it just amazes me..and I know you so well, it shouldn't amaze me..I'm sure everyone that reads this one will be fighting back some tears..as you so profoundly realize that people are going through harder trials than you are..not that yours are any less important..great blog..I'm so touched by your compassion..keep it up :)
ReplyDeleteM- Well I suppose that it would be hard to be your mom and not to read obituaries all the time. And it would be worse to actually know the person when they die. I am glad that your mom is so compassionate about her job to care when any patient at all dies.
ReplyDeleteDiane- You do know me very well! However my mind sometimes amazes even me. I think that I know the way that I think but sometimes something forces me to think deeper.
Im sorry that you had such a rough day. I am so very proud of you to be able to see past the difficulties that you are facing currently and know that others out there are experiencing things that far surpass your own. This takes a lot of courage to be able to step outside yourself and see this. (Hugs)
ReplyDeleteHey heyy,
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness you are so observant and then you write it down on paper...and its amazing how beautiful, a picture you paint with the words you use!!! I love love love reading your blogs. I can't believe you could tell I was trying not to cry....I just new that if I started crying I wouldn't be able to stop. Anyway we need to hang out oober soon.:)C
I went to B.E's visitation tonight and the memorial service and it was probably the saddest night of my life. There was a lot of crying (mostly mine) and hugs. Everyone just let SE know we were there. This tragedy only shows me we only have a certain amount of time on this earth, and we need to make the most out of it. Don't let others put you down when you move, don't be scared or worried, live life knowing you're loved and always will be. Although the world lost an important life, we must keep living, must keep loving, and must be there for each other. We all have someone to lean on, so lean on me sweetie if things aren't goin your way. I'll be there.
ReplyDeleteLuv you!!
*S*
C-Thank you for the compliment... again... and I understand. There are times that I really want to cry but don't. It's very hard.
ReplyDeleteS- You sound even more philosophical than me! That makes me laugh. Very good writing though and the advice.
frugalmom- Thank you for the hugs!
Omgeez :)C you used oober!!! I'm so proud of you!! Sorry that's all I wanted to say because she always makes fun of me for saying that. Hahaha what now!?!?! (its very catchy)
ReplyDeleteLuv,
*S*
O and Ki-Ki thanks for the compliment about my philosophical writing. It made you laugh? Like you were surprised at how deep I am! Hehehe just jokin! But really you probably were surprised:)
S- I have to say that I was surprised, but not because I didn't think you were a good writer. At school you're very light hearted and then you sorta transformed for a few moments.
ReplyDelete